Gentle Warrior: Awakening the Courage to
Live a Bold and Brilliant Life

"When I was four years old, I believed I could do anything. Decked out in my favorite cowboy hat, holter, and gun loaded with cap ammunition, I was a fearless combination of Wonder Woman, Superman, and the Lone Ranger. I saw the world as an endless string of possibilities, limited only by the boundaries of my imagination; and at the age of four, my imagination knew no bounds.

I loved learning and was always ready and willing to try new things. I knew what I liked and what made me happy, and I greeted each day with great enthusiasm because I was sure that new and wondrous things were out there just waiting for me to discover them. It was a time of incredible freedom for me to be me. The world was mine and I was going to be a star.

Unfortunately, the real world had other ideas. When I started school, my plans of being a greater-than-life hero collided with norms and expectations of my family, school, friends, and society in general. There seemed to be covert conspiracy to shut down my enthusiasm, to curb my sense of self-confidence, and to completely squelch my imagination. Filling the void left by the absence of all this energy was a long litany of rules which, according to the adults in my world, I needed to learn and obey if I were going to be at all successful in life.

This is the story of my journey to rediscover and reconnect with the warrior spirit of my four-year-old. It is the story of courage and fear, of change and stagnation, and of success and failure. It is the story of a journey that has opened and expanded my life in ways that continue to surprise and inspire me."

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"Do you ever wonder why making a change in your life can be so hard? What makes it so difficult to eliminate a bad habit, integrate a new routine, or learn a different way of being? Logic would say that if we really wanted to make a specific change, our desire alone would be enough to ensure that we achieve our goal. However, experience negates that hypothesis. I am sure that you can come up with examples in your life where you really wanted to do something or change something, but found yourself running into obstacles, losing your energy and desire, and finally giving up. What happens?

One of the things that makes stepping out and living the life we want so difficult is that we are not aware of the many kinds of obstacles that are out there just waiting to knock us down. So, when we run blindly into one of these walls, we interpret the setback as a failure on our part, as a sign that we shouldn't be seeking that particular goal or dream. We feel inept and powerless and our natural reaction is to retreat to the safety of our comfort zone.

But in reality, we are neither inept nor powerless. What is actually happening is that we are being challenged by some very tricky and powerful forces that do not care if we are happy or successful. Their main goal is to make sure that we stay put in our small lives. They do not want us to realize that each of us has the intelligence and wherewithal needed to strip them of their power. All we need is awareness. Remember Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz? Once Dorothy saw who was really behind the curtain, she became the one who then had the power."

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"I believe we all have a quiet courage residing inside us just waiting to be discovered. But more often than not, its quiet voice gets drowned out by the louder and more persuasive voices of doubt, fear, and confusion."

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"Going through a life transition is like setting sail on a foggy sea. As you begin the transition, you still have a good view of the shoreline. At this point, you may not even realize you are in a transition. You are very excited about the possibilities of changing a part of your life, and you can hardly wait to set sail and explore the distant shores.

Yet, as you sail further out to sea, or further into your transition, you lose sight of the coastline. The fog begins to settle in around you. You can't make out where you are going, and you can no longer see where you came from. When you find yourself in the middle of this kind of uncertainty, it can be very easy to give in to the discomfort of not knowing exactly where you are going or what you need to do next. Critical voices are telling you that you have made a mistake, or that you don't have what it takes to find your way through the fog.

It is at this point that you really need to trust yourself and believe that the process will eventually lead you to solid ground. If I had given up somewhere along my journey — and believe me, there were many times when I seriously thought about it — I would still be stuck in one of those mediocre jobs that were nowhere as challenging, motivating, or inspiring as my current coaching practice."

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"Five months ago, I signed up for a class in which we were asked to do something we had always dreamed of doing, something that completely jazzed us, but that we had talked ourselves out of doing because we didn't think we had the skills, the knowledge, or the time to do it. I chose to write this book.

It has been said that we teach what we need to learn, and maybe that's why I chose to write about finding the courage to step out of your comfort zone, to listen to your heart, and to follow your dreams. I needed to hear those messages on a daily basis as I struggled with the emotional ups and downs of this journey. Writing this book took me way out of my comfort zone, and as a result, I was constantly trying to manage the ongoing battle between the voices in my head who kept informing me that I couldn't and shouldn't be doing this project and the voices in my heart which kept reminding me that this book was mine to write."

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"What are your dreams? What would you love to do if you could find the courage to step outside the parameters of your current life and pursue those visions that keep dancing around in your head? Do you want to start your own business? Do you want to travel to Africa to work with AIDS orphans? Maybe you want to take a class in creative writing, or train for a triathlon. Or, maybe your dream is to move to the country and grow organic fruits and vegetables for the local farmers' market. Whatever your dreams may be, they are part of what makes you so unique. Your dreams are a gift to all of us, and if they are lost, the world does not shine quite as brightly."

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