The whispers of God and the wrestling with God often leave a permanent mark. On our souls, on our hearts, and sometimes even on our flesh.October 13, 2013 was truly the most beautiful day I could ever imagine. It was the day David and I were married. The weather was perfect… mid-seventies and overcast. Right as we were saying our vows to one another, the sun pierced through the clouds and shone down on us and an eagle circled above us and flew overhead. Our wedding guests couldn’t stop commenting on it. Four years later, we still hear stories about how moving this moment was for our witnesses present on that day. We knew Holy Spirit was present with us on our wedding day, and we knew He would be with us always throughout our marriage. We had mountains of faith declaring His goodness.

Six short months later, we stepped into the darkness and the desert of a three-and-a-half year wrestling match with God as we endured our first of seven recurrent pregnancy losses. Our faith was tested and we began to question His goodness and doubt His love for us. Wrestling with God leaves a mark.