What is the Difference Between a Fertility Coach and a Fertility Therapist and is Working With One Right for Me?
Fertility coaching and therapy programs are designed to support individuals and couples going through fertility struggles. Trying to conceive is often a difficult journey paved with emotional, physical, spiritual, and psychological trials that can feel lonely, overwhelming, and isolating. While your medical team of fertility experts serves to support you for your clinical treatments and medical needs, a fertility coach or therapist can offer support for your emotional and mental health needs as you navigate your fertility hurdles.
Marketing strategy will tell me that I need to tell you that you NEED ME as your fertility coach. Marketing strategy will tell me that I need to find your pain points and press my finger directly on them so deeply so that you run desperately to me or my program to solve all of your problems and woes. Marketing strategy will tell me that I need to write this article in such a way that it “sells” you my program. But I am not going to do that. As someone who has lived the excruciatingly painful journeys of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, I refuse to do that. These journeys are painful enough and the last thing I would ever do is stick my finger directly on your points of deepest pain. I actually don’t believe you NEED me or my coaching program at all. The women I’ve met in this amazing community are among the strongest and bravest women that I know. You don’t need me to survive your fertility hurdles. You can do this and you already have been doing it so far without my support. But I want you to know more than anything else that you don’t have to do this alone if you don’t want to. If you are feeling like you could benefit from having more support in your journey, keep reading. I want to explain what you get when you choose to work with a fertility coach or therapist, how they are similar, and the ways that they differ. I want you to know that support is available to you if you want it, and I want you to know what types of support are out there so you can decide which type of support is best for you.
Working with a fertility coach or therapist throughout your process of pre-conception planning or during your fertility treatment cycles can help you make beneficial lifestyle changes, navigate the emotional trauma and effects of fertility treatment, and support you to become more physically and emotionally resilient as you work towards building your family.
Studies have shown that those who work with a fertility coach or therapist often feel more in control of their physical and mental health, which can reduce rates of anxiety and depression and can even improve pregnancy rates and outcomes.
Having someone experienced and knowledgeable to walk the journey with you can help alleviate feelings of isolation, frustration, helplessness and confusion.
How do I know if fertility coaching or if fertility therapy is right for me?
Fertility therapists (including psychiatrists, psychologists, clinical social workers, or mental health counselors), fertility coaches, and fertility support groups each have their own unique attributes and specializations that can help you manage the emotional stress of trying to build or grow your family. As you navigate your fertility journey, it can be hard to know what type of support you need.
Therapists most often apply specific modalities (e.g. cognitive behavioral therapy, etc.) to assess, diagnose, and treat your mental health according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Most often, this happens over time through a lens that helps you to make sense of your past and present.
Fertility coaching is more focused on looking towards the future and providing a framework for self-reflection, coping skills, and tools to help you manage emotional stress and reach specific goals. Another small but important distinction is that while therapists are usually more focused on cognitions (acquiring knowledge through thoughts and past experiences), fertility coaches tend to focus more on building towards your goals through behaviors.
One major distinction between therapists and coaches are the varying qualifications between the two professions. Therapy is a highly regulated field. Therapists must be either fully licensed or working under licensed supervision and they must have received a graduate degree along with significant clinical experience. Therapists are also only able to practice in specific states in which they are licensed. Regulation is important in this arena because they are often treating severe mental health disorders and can provide clinical medical records. Due to this requirement, most therapists have an office where they hold therapy sessions with clients. With with the pandemic, more and more therapists are offering virtual tele-health sessions, however, a therapist can still only work with clients in states they are licensed to practice.
On the other hand, fertility coaches don’t fall under the same regulations. While there are elective licenses and certifications for all types of coaching, there are no state or national laws that require them in order to practice. Fertility coaches can vary hugely in the level of skills and training they have and the services they offer. For this reason, it’s really important to find a coach that you feel has met certain qualifications and has elected to go through specialized training. When considering a fertility coach, it is a good idea to:
Select a coach with some form of accreditation or specialized training
Consider their level of experience, philosophy of care, and ask for references if possible
Ask if they are a member of professional bodies, organizations, or industry groups
Get to know their personality- most coaches offer a free consultation where you can connect with them personally and understand their services. Remember, your coach will be your advocate and a vital part of your support system through potential ups and downs, so choosing someone whose personality meshes with yours is important
Once you find a coach you believe is trained and qualified, the lower regulatory constraints can actually be a major benefit. Lower regulations mean that coaches can apply more hands-on, personalized support that is built around your personal goals versus focusing primarily on trying to treat certain mental health disorders. In addition, because coaches can practice in any state, you can work with any coach you connect with (regardless of their location or yours) and meet with them virtually from the comfort of your own home. The lower regulatory constraints also means you can connect and communicate authentically with your coach between sessions in a way that therapy regulations usually restrict. A coach-to-client relationship usually has less boundary restrictions than a therapist-client relationship, and a coach can do things that a therapist cannot like check in with you after important appointments, ask you how your weekend is going, and send you funny videos or gifs to add a little humor to your day or week.
In both therapy and coaching practices, there is some general level of overlap between cognition and behavior. While this certainly doesn’t exhaust all the areas therapy and coaching differ, hopefully this provides a good summary of the major differences to help you understand and identify what type of support you believe will best serve you in your journey right now. In many cases, people benefit from seeking support in both coaching and therapy, especially if there is a history of trauma or a mental health diagnosis like clinical depression or anxiety. When I was going through my own journey of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss, there was a season when I was seeing both a coach and a therapist and they each served and supported me in different ways that were beneficial to me.
What does a fertility coaching program look like?
Most fertility coaching programs are designed to help individuals and couples manage stress, find clarity in decision-making, and lay a solid foundation for healthy relationships, mind, and body while going through fertility struggles, utilizing what is often referred to as a 'mind-body' process. Basically, this means that fertility coaches support the holistic health of a person, which goes beyond just your physical health. Fertility coaches take into consideration the whole person, providing you with tools and techniques to help you implement coping skills and reduce the physical and psychological effects of trauma, stress, anxiety, and negative mindsets. A fertility coach can also support you with setting goals and providing accountability as you implement lifestyle changes that may have a positive impact on your reproductive health, including your diet, exercise, and sleep habits.
Many decisions individuals and couples are faced with during their reproductive journeys are not strictly medical decisions, but are highly personal. Fertility treatments require time, emotional and physical energy, and finances- often impacting our friendships, relationships, job, and other major areas of our lives. A fertility coach can help support you to find clarity and direction in your decision-making in a way that empowers you with more agency and energy on your path forward.
What stage of my fertility journey is best to start working with a fertility coach?
A fertility coach can be beneficial at any stage in the fertility journey- from initial tests and investigations through treatments, losses, pregnancies, and parenting support to help you process emotions and make guided decisions.
Whether you are trying to conceive naturally, are going through your first or 5th round of IUI, IVF or another form of Assisted Reproductive Technology, recovering from pregnancy loss at any gestation, exploring donor or surrogacy routes or adoption, or trying to preserve your future fertility through egg or sperm freezing, fertility coaching can benefit you.
Professional fertility coaching combines multiple techniques and can be structured in a variety of different ways to provide support in a range of areas, including miscarriage, IVF support, chemical pregnancy, emotional support, endometriosis, infertility/sub-fertility, irregular periods, ovulation and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), cancer, fertility preservation, and more. Fertility coaches usually provide individualized support and create a coaching program unique to each client depending on their needs, goals, and preferences.
Many fertility coaches, like myself, entered the profession after their own personal experience with infertility, pregnancy loss, or other reproductive health issues. In practice, this can translate to meaningful and empathetic support, understanding, compassion, and encouragement from someone who has been in the thick of their own fertility struggles, but who is now on the other side and is in a place personally and emotionally to be able to offer unconditional support to you now- wherever you are in your journey.
To learn more about my fertility coaching program or to talk through what type of support is best for you, click the link below to schedule a free 30-minute consultation. Even if we determine that working together isn’t the best fit for you, I am happy to help you explore your options and refer you to another amazing fertility coach or therapist that would best support you.
